packing up

everything's getting suitcased for the trip back to the big city on monday.  I don't really remember too much of what I brought or what I have up there so it's hard to determine what should be packed and what shouldn't, except that I know I need everything I own to keep me warm.  it's been so warm here all month that it's hard to think about going back to the big cold wet beautiful city.  I'm ready, though.  my parents keep telling me that they'd be so happy if I stayed, but they do this little sad smile while they say it, so I know it's true what they're saying but we all know that I have my own life that I have to pursue and they wouldn't really be all that excited if I was just bumming around home working for minimum wage and not feeding my mind.  it's just bittersweet, and we're all feeling it.  

I went up north for a few days to see my best friends, Amanda and Spencer.  I got to meet their new friends, who are great and my dear old friend Natalie as well.  it was a great trip because of that, but also I got to reaffirm the feeling that I had when I was picking out schools, which is that if I'd gone with them, I'd be happy to be with them, but I'd have missed out on the experience of having to really do this college thing on my own.  it's all worked out anyway, because we're still really tight, but we're also getting to have separate lives, which will be good in the long run, but we know we have each other no matter what.  still, I get these huge stabs of missing them at least once a day.  it's pretty terrible even though it's good.  I guess it's bittersweet, too.