homecoming

I'm back in the airport again.  I'm supposed to start my finals tomorrow morning, but I'm flying home.  Mom called this morning saying Grandpa is in the hospital probably for the last time.  I've been expecting this phone call all year.   Expecting isn't preparing, though.  I'm not prepared.  

I'm here, though.  

I spent the last five minutes doing something I realize now is desperately searching for a distraction: food, books, the Office.  I caught myself, though.  We're boarding soon anyway so it doesn't really matter.  And it's okay to be distracted, I know.  It's just when the only point to doing something is a distraction, I've got to look for something better to do. 

It's okay.

I hit my head really hard on a dresser drawer last night.  I spent the whole evening feeling sore and slightly dazed.  I feel the same way now, but different catalyst.  My head has been aching all day (this day has literally felt like a week) and I can't bring myself to take anymore ibuprofen.